When I first came to treatment in July (2019) here at Round Lake Treatment Center, They started everyday in the same manner during the weekdays which is great structure in a time where most of us were feeling anxious, scared, nervous and uneasy. They showed us that we were to be in 4 seasons (a building) by 8:30 am and to start our morning smudge, our reading and to play a game, until the counsellors showed up. One of the first things we did with the counsellors was to have a Gratitude for the morning and this isn’t much different here up at the Recovery House where I’m at as well. We all go around and say three gratitude’s and how we’re going to show our gratitude during the day. They say that if you do this for at least 21 -24 days in a row depending on where your reading it from that it changes your brain circuits and actually rewires them to start thinking this way and I do believe it cause I always catch myself saying I’m grateful for whatever is happening at the moment even if its a struggle.
The way I see how this works in my life now is that if you learn to have a great attitude and trust me it’s not something you learn, it’s something you practice you can have gratitude in your life. If you can laugh wholeheartedly at yourself over something stupid and mundane that someone said without flipping your sh*t or smile at your boss for not doing your job they way it was supposed to and just say you are sorry and you will do it better then you are on your way. I never had that, I always let things fester in my head and that made it worse. I would be bitter to everyone, even if they meant only good to me and even if they meant the best I thought they were up to something and they were on my radar. I was not even close to being grateful in my drinking days. I didn’t have to be cause I knew that after the day was done or as soon as I got to a liquor store I wouldn’t have to feel grateful for anything anymore. Those or any thoughts fleeted away in a clouded mind that was brewing up a storm up in my head and it left it in a windy haze with no cares, no worries or no nothingness.
I’m only telling you how I dealt with it cause like other addicts, we all have stories worth telling, not one is the same but they have the same structure or a story line and I have the opportunity to by doing this to tell whom ever wants to read mine. There are a lot that never get told and I’m grateful that I get to tell mine cause by doing this, even if no one reads it is still healing me in ways I can’t explain.