Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things– Ted Mosby (Josh Radner)
My life had to fall apart from what I was doing, to make way for better things I was destined to do. It was me in a quote from a TV show that I watched called “How I met your mother.” I have watched this show many times before, yet this stuck with me.
What came to mind when I first heard this quote was that I had to let go of what I knew from my past and in my addiction and unlearn everything just about cause I was headed on a dismal road. I had to unlearn how I reacted to how when my daughter’s name was brought up, I lashed out or silenced towards the person that said it. It brought up pain, shame, hurt, abandonment and grief in me. I also had to recognize that I didn’t have to seek others approval about myself or change anything about myself to fit in to their way of life, I bring something unique to everything I am. I also had to learn to love myself over again, I’ve been saying in the past that I did love myself and did that so much I started to believe my own lies. I really didn’t and when I realized that, I started working in that in my own way.
The better things in life now are not only my sobriety, but everything that is an extension of my sobriety and that includes my family, friends, where my growth has been happening and letting go of my past. I cannot change what has already happened but I can learn and change what I do in the future.