Living in a Recovery House is not what a lot of people would do, face their truth become something other than normal however normal is not what I am. Living here in the Okanagan has given me opportunity to become unique, it has given me struggles and hardships and the ability to say I am grateful to be an alcoholic/addict. It has shown me that that I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am.
I came here to the house Sept 16th last year and have lived recovery 24/7 since then, my language and tone turned to recovery in everything I have done and you know what, that’s the best way to form a decent habit that I can carry forward for the rest of my life. Breaking patterns I’ve been carrying since I was the ripe ole age of 13. I know a ton of things like a higher power to help guide me, a support system to be there, I never knew what boundaries were cause I thought saying no or letting people walk all over me was anything less of being a good person to others and now I know that I set healthy boundaries out of love not only for myself but for those around me so I can keep my integrity in check. I know that habit form ideas “CBT” need around 3 weeks to be instilled into our thoughts so we can change the neuroplasticity’s of thinking a bad thought – breaking that route – and setting a new path in our brain. I know that everyone’s trauma is different from everyone else’s however it’s mine and I can own it still, it doesn’t need to run my life anymore like it has done and I can leave it in the past, it won’t bother me anymore and I don’t need to shame people for it.
These are among the few examples I’ve learned throughout my stay here, I challenged myself and I was challenged while in this house, I fought and clawed my way through days and others I coasted. Not everyone here I was able to get along with however that is life and what I will face. There’s a quote that always goes through my head other than the serenity prayer by a character on one of my favourite shows “How I Met You’re Mother” by Josh Radner/Ted Mosby “But that’s the funny thing about destiny: it happens whether you plan it or not. It turns out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming.” I was to close for far too long, what I didn’t know was that I had to take a step back and look at my life, see what it was about and see what I was doing wrong. I had to change some stuff around and see it from a different perspective. It all started that I wanted something different.
With everything I’ve learned, it seems like I should be coming out with a degree of some sort with all these new ideas and thoughts I’ve learned. All I know as that after tomorrow when I finally leave this place that I will be a better brother, a better son, a better father and a better friend. I will just be better for those around me. I am both excited and nervous, I needed this place like I needed my life.